Two Roles. One Identity.

Every day, Gauri Sawant’s mother juggles between the household chores, her work in a government-run Day Care Centre, and also ensures that her daughters excel in their academics and extra-curricular activities. She works round the clock from dawn to dusk, leaving no stone unturned.  IMG-20160610-WA0004

After her husband’s sudden death in 2000, she was required to essay the role of both, father and mother, to her then school-going daughters. “It wasn’t very easy for her. Besides looking after the home, she had to also pay all the bills and manage the family’s finances single-handedly,” says Gauri, who completed PUKAR’s Youth Leaders as Changemakers Fellowship in 2015.

As a part of the year-long fellowship programme facilitated by PUKAR in collaboration with Gunvati J Kapoor Medical Relief Charitable Foundation and GN Khalsa College, Gauri and her friends dug deeper into the lives of single parents living in Mumbai. “I was already aware of some of the struggles. Through the study, I was overwhelmed to know that not every single parent was sulking or engaging in self-pity,” said the 21-year-old Microbiology graduate, adding, “They had embraced their independence.”

Through a series of interviews with single parents, the group looked at the ways in which single mothers and fathers had responded to divorce, widowhood and the underlying societal pressures. Interestingly, for some women, the independence brought with it freedom from years of domestic violence and dominance. Their study also highlighted the ways in which the single parent revisited existing definitions of parenthood, challenging existing taboos associated with remarriage and divorce. “Some of the single mothers we interviewed said that there were moments that they missed having a companion. However, on account of family pressures, couldn’t give marriage a second chance,” says Gauri.

An interesting dimension of their research was anIMG-20160611-WA0006 interview the group did with an Andheri-based transgender. The transgender was looking after a young boy she had adopted. “But society continues to misunderstand her intentions. People believe that she is taking advantage of the child despite the fact that she was educating and attending to the child’s every need,” adds Gauri.

As a way ahead, Gauri believes that it is critical to become more sensitive to the needs and aspirations of single parents. “It is important to help build their skills in order to make them financially self-sufficient. They need to be able to regain their confidence,” says Gauri. “This could also be backed by counseling sessions to guide them through their grief and societal pressures.”

Here’s to all the single parents, who wonderfully double up as both, mother and father, to their children.

 

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